Let’s look at increasing your Self Esteem. The more you raise your own self esteem, the more you will raise your child’s.
Why is Self Esteem important? It affects:
- Friends you choose (as you choose ones with similar self esteem to you)
- The kind of person you will settle down with
- How you get on with others
- How effective you are as a parent
- Career success
- Will you be a leader or a follower?
How do you know someone has High Self Esteem?
- They are happy with themselves, and do not need other’s approval
- Strong enduring friendships
- Loves to learn and to challenge oneself
- Accepts failure and mistakes as opportunities for learning
Characteristics of Mid Self Esteem
- Needs approval from others
- Fear of failure and mistakes
- People pleaser
- Inclined towards avoidance rather than undertake a new challenge
Characteristics of Low Self Esteem
- Deep self hatred
- Continually unhappy
- Troubled relationships with others
- Unable to develop close relationships
- Overly or under demanding of others
The good news?
You can change it!
By improving how you treat and value yourself in every area of your life.
Change occurs by actions of a self valuing and caring nature in every area of your life.
You need reflect on the depth of love you have for yourself, mirrored in how well you nurture yourself on a daily basis. This is not ayourself bout vanity or arrogance, just a deep appreciation and regard for yourself. A parent who loves self, shows affection, warmth, tenderness and is kind, gentle and supportive towards self – and others.
Physical: Self Care is essential. Treat your body well with good food and take time to exercise to de stress. Taking the half hour for a walk can make the rest of the day seem more manageable so value yourself enough to carve that time out for you.Affirm your physicality: “My body is beautiful, I accept myself and treat my body well. I care what I put into it, and how it makes me feel. I eat healthy food; I have found an exercise I enjoy. I take care of myself.”
Spiritual: Take time out to reflect on how you interact with others, are you operating from tiredness and overload? Can you prioritise building in some ‘time out’ for you?
Seek emotional support and ask for help when you need it
Intelligence: Each of us uses less than 2% of our intellectual capacity, therefore affirm your vast potential and as Barack Obama says ‘We can do it’! Believing in yourself, allows your child believe in him or herself.
Socially: ‘I will not bother going, no-one will even miss me’ is a Negative affirmation, switch that to a positive affirmation ‘My presence there is important, and my absence will be noticed’, and make time for friends and the support they offer. You are one of a kind and special.
Are you willing to change? It will change your life. The more care you show yourself, the more you can show others, so Do it now, don’t wait any longer.
Sheila O Malley qualified as a Parent Mentor with Dr Tony Humphreys and is available to give talks to schools or organisations, she has ongoing Parenting Courses and gives weekend workshops. See www.practicalparenting.ie or e mail firstname.lastname@example.org for further detail.