Is your child challenging you? I am sure you respond well when someone you love lavishes you with a little special attention. It works with your child too! In fact the more attention you give, the less they demand.
It’s the ‘why’ of the behaviour you need to discover
When you give them focused attention, you tune into them and how they feel – otherwise known as empathy. Empathy is where we stand in their shoes and try to understand how things are for them. We’re likely to say something like ‘You seem upset, I’m really trying to understand how you feel, because you are important to me’.
When he feels right; he will behave right
This means that you are usually meeting the need they have for time and attention from you and they respond with more co-operative behaviour. In other words, if a child is not co operating with you, at some level, they probably feel you are not cooperating with their needs.
Time and attention means they get to express how they feel and there is someone who cares enough to be receptive to what is going on for them. Sometimes they just need you to move from ‘doing’ to ‘being’ with them; to hang out for a bit. Studies say a child only needs eight minutes a day to feel loved, valued and secure.
Compassion is No 1 response to conflict
Can you afford not to give it?
They feel heard, listened to and respected and will respond to you very positively! Children will use their behaviour to get your attention, and for them negative attention is better than no attention. Positive parenting works – blame the behaviour; but never break relationship over a bit of behaviour.
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