Deal with it differently this week. This behaviour can be tantrums, aggression, uncooperative etc. See that the child is trying to tell you how difficult life is for him. What lies hidden needs to be revealed.
You’ll be surprised to find that when you are different, the child is different.
What you put out; you get back, the more you love & approve your child, the less difficult behaviour you will encounter.
Responding to difficult behaviour
- Separate the child from the behaviour; “ I love you but cannot accept that behaviour”
- Don’t use You messages “You are so bold”
- Instead use “I” messages “I feel upset when.”
- Take action for self (get out of the room if you are going to ‘lose it’)
- Stay calm, stay separate from the behaviour – do not personalise it
- Do not get into conflict or break relationship with the child
Why the behaviour?
- A feeling of not being loved enough
- Low Self Esteem
Ask the ‘W’ Questions
- What is going on for my child?
- Why is this behaviour happening?
- Who is it happening with?
- Where is it happening (Home/ School)
- When is it happening?
Look at your self
- Note how you interacted with your child today
- Note daily three positives about your child
- Affirm child and treat with respect?
- Unconditionally love, not for what they do, but who they are
- A behaviour that is noticed increases “I noticed an improvement in..”
- A behaviour that is ignored (bad behaviour) – Decreases
- Catch the child – being Good.
- Make a respectful request; not an order “Bed now!”
- Settle for less than perfection.